“SPRING”

Spring is here and it’s the best!

Though it’s cloudy today it has been so nice out and the weather forecast for next week looks lovely. I always want to pretend I’m not affected by seasonal depression but it’s crazy how much the warmer temperatures and longer sunlight do affect my mood positively.  Don’t get me wrong, I love all the weather (and was maybe a storm chaser in a past life…) but nothing like “a beautiful day on earth” to brighten up a day.

Beautiful days also bring out cute outfits, and lately I’ve been trying to be more specific about my outfit choices and trying to repurpose things I’ve had for a while, to “spice up” my existing wardrobe. So, I ended up with one such outfit, not revealing, it just fit well and left my apartment for a meeting.

 

SPRING // 4.20.17

Feeling good,

feeling alright,

for the moment.

Up for a while,

until gravity

uproots me.

Good, despite

fingers of down,

leaving moist trails…

Slugs on

my back.

“Hey sexy”’s like darts.

How can I cover

more?

Shake off bristling

fear.

Persist and you

can’t—

cannot

be beaten.

Not quite yet.

I get cat called all times of year (as a lot of women who live in cities do, no matter what they’re wearing) but there is nothing like street harassment at the start of warm weather. It’s like all women have reemerged from their winter coat chrysalis, brandishing brand new curves, a neck or ankle, and these guys cannot look away or stop themselves from saying what they’re thinking. They are “twitterpated” (Bambi reference, anyone?).

Walking down the block gives me more anxiety than it should. I can feel the eyes staring at my body, it is not subtle. It is uncomfortable, to say the least and I can’t help but sometimes feel unsafe. I’m not sure how to stop this from happening to myself and others, though I have a theory about calling people out on it (no one likes to feel shame but what if it’s worse to provoke the guy?). Living as a woman is complicated. There may always be something, or someone lurking around the corner but I can’t live my life in fear, I have work to do!

I refuse to let these strangers break me. I’m surrounded by an amazing group of women and we are stronger together. So I’ll just have to keep walking, keep writing, keep chugging along…

…and remember, I’m not alone.