“EXHAUSTED”

OMG it’s Friday (again) already!

It is my 10th week in a row doing this blog and it’s the first time that it has felt like work.

It was a really intense week on this job (long hours that were both mentally and physically challenging) and all I want to do today is chill. That being said I woke up to the reminder that I had almost 200 unread emails in my inbox and a screenplay to finish…

I slept in today (after getting home very late last night) and started feeling guilty about wasting the day at 10ish, though I felt like I could’ve slept for many more hours. That self inflicted guilt thing is definitely something I have to work on. Growing up I HATED falling behind…missing a day of school (even if I was deathly ill) gave me supreme anxiety and that feeling has 100% carried over into my adult life.

EXHAUSTED // 4.14.17

Wiped out.

Sore legs,

haven’t stretched in days.

Want to rest,

veg,

hang out.

Butt on a cushion,

come back to earth.

Guilt chiming,

tasks to check off,

don’t fall behind.

Miss this

thing or that.

You’re screwed.

One-finned salmon,

lost against unstoppable current,

spiraling behind the run.

Virtual pinging,

incessant distraction,

turn it off for one day.

Play catch up tomorrow.

All being said, I am actively working on this. Every time I wake up feeling stressed about not doing enough I have to remind myself that it’s not about working 24/7, 365, it’s about the quality of work I put in. If I’m spreading myself too thin the work is going to suffer. So even if my perception of everyone I know is that they are all working ALL THE TIME, I need to do what works for me.

Today, to not get overwhelmed, I set achievable goals for myself: to clear the spam out of my inbox, answer the few emails (which I flagged over this week) that I felt needed a very timely response, to write this post and to make my to-do list for next week.

After that I’m “allowed” to unwind and not feel bad about it, actually enjoy it.

So far so good, and to be honest, starting this blog post was the hardest part (once it was in progress, it went)!

It all comes back to that work/life balance. Today I give myself permission to take it easy, for the most part and if you need to do the same…

 

…you are not alone!