“BRIEF RELIEF”

Happy Friday! Usually Fridays don’t feel any different for me than any other day (because, you know, freelance…) but today feels like a bonafide Friday!

This week has been particularly overwhelming. I had some (very) low paid freelance work that is very tedious and takes more time than it is really worth and I just kept getting in my head about how it was such a waste of time. Obviously, some work is better than none but if I think too much about it, it starts mirroring what could be the rest of my life (working very long hours with very little compensation) and I get down on myself about being crazy and stupid.

[To reiterate, these thoughts are crazy and stupid because the work that I will be spending long hours, with little compensation on will usually be work that I care about and that will make it worthwhile.]

I have a poem called “Overwhelmed,” which fit very well for this week, but I decided to stop my own vicious cycle of feeling this way and post something as a reminder to myself and anyone feeling this way on a daily/weekly basis…to BREATHE and take some time off to recharge.

This weekend my family is taking a couple of days away in a cabin near a lake, and though it is going to be freaking freezing (the forecast high for the weekend is 14 degrees Fahrenheit…), taking a break from the rat race and being in the nature is beneficial for the mind and body. Well, for my mind and body, at least.

It reminded me of a poem I wrote when I took my first vacation in 5 years this past January to New Orleans…

 

BRIEF RELIEF (a love poem to NOLA) // 2.1.17

Sound droplets
bursting.
Soaked in butter,
rinsed in beer,
repeat.
Winter weight
achieved.
Keep up,
constant
imbibing.
Delight.
Can this be real life?
How ‘bout we stay?
Disappear into,
a two-story
with history.
Pickling livers,
stretching guts
past capacity.
Fat ass butts,
in the bar window reflection.
Plastic cups,
easy liquor,
priceless water,
cool river,
relief.

This is essentially about living in the moment and not feeling guilty for having a good time. “Feeling guilty for having a good time??? That sounds crazy!!” Not sure about you, but with everything going on in the world and in the USA these days I have had a hard time enjoying myself, or even letting myself try.

There’s so many terrible things to worry about that the thought of having fun feels insensitive.

Yet, in order to have a clear head and best be able to #resist and put in good work on the work that matters to us, we need to take breaks. Our brains need to have space to remember the beauty in being alive.

So far this has been the only “happy” poem I’ve written. This one came out of me after being away for a few days and it was crazy to compare the one I wrote the day before I left and this one, just a few days later.

To me, this poem is proof of how important vacations are, no matter how brief. Even one day off can make a difference in my mental state and I need to remember that.

I constantly feel the pressure that if I stop working I will fall irreparably behind and THIS IS CRAZY. The time off is just as important as the time on and I’m going to try to remember that.

Thanks for stopping by. You are not alone (no one is alooooooone)!!!